June 5th, 2018. Bedtime.
Me: [turning over onto my right side]: Good night.
La Bonavita [putting his arm around me, which produces a slight rustling sound]: What is this?
Me: [mumbling sleepily]: What’s what?
La Bonavita [rummaging under my shirt]: there’s some paper or something stuck to you.
Me [squirming]: no there’s not! Stop it, I’m trying to go to sleep!
[sound of band-aid being ripped off]
Me [sitting up angrily]: What are you doing? What is that?
La Bonavita [peering at a small piece of paper in the dark]: Why did you have your I voted sticker stuck to your boob?
Me [relaxing and turning back over]: Oh, I think I just put my shirt on inside out, it must have gotten stuck to me.
La Bonavita [perplexed]: Yeah, but didn’t you feel it on your skin? How could you fall asleep with that sticker stuck on you like that?
Me [sleepily]: I don’t know, it wasn’t bothering me.
La Bonavita [muttering]: You are just all mind, that’s why. You have no sensation in your body.
Me [smugly]: No, it’s actually the opposite: I’m very sensuous and a true patriot. So I need skin-to-skin contact with my I voted sticker.
La Bonavita: Uh-huh.
I fall asleep to the soothing sounds of La Bonavita harrumphing to himself.