Day 210: Nothing you ever wanted to know about Alfred Hitchcock and weren’t afraid to ask anyone

For the second-grade end-of-year event, the kids choose a historical figure, dress up as them, and perform a little monologue in their persona. The younger has chosen to appear in the person of Alfred Hitchcock.

This morning, the kids and I were sitting around the breakfast table.

“Have you started writing what you’re going to say when you’re Alfred Hitchcock?” I asked the younger.

She looked sheepish. “Yeah, I’ve started …” she said slowly.

“Cool! Let’s hear what you’ve got so far!” I said.

The younger demurred. “I don’t have a lot of facts yet,” she explained. “Some of them I’m just guessing from looking at the book,” she went on, referring to the book, Who Was Alfred Hitchcock? that had inspired her choice.

“That’s OK! “I said encouragingly, “Let’s just hear the beginning. “

“OK,” she said, taking a deep breath.

“My name is Alfred Hitchcock,” she began, strongly, “and … and I had my kidney removed.”

She paused.

The elder and I waited expectantly.

The younger shrugged her shoulders.

“Is that it?” I asked carefully.

“Well, I’ve only just started,” she reiterated.

“Right,” I said. “Is that true?” I asked. “Did he have his kidney removed?”

“Well, he definitely had something removed,” she declared authoritatively.

“That may well be true,” I said.

“It’s maybe not,” the elder ventured tentatively, making eye contact with me and severely straining my ability to keep a straight face, “it’s maybe not the most relevant fact to his life?”

The younger shook her head at us witheringly.

“I told you that I’ve ONLY JUST STARTED,” she said, icily.

As you can see below, she now has a full draft. Shared with the author’s permission.





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